I think the best part about NHA as a means for affirming the neurodiversity of the patients that we see is that the approach helps us shift how we’re looking at behaviors. There is definitely a stigma out there when people want to talk to us about our child’s “behavior.” Very rarely are parents called into the principal’s office or to talk to the teacher to be told about all the wonderful qualities their kids are displaying in the classroom. Yet, that is exactly what the NHA helps us to do.
Maybe I have a patient who comes into therapy every single day and lays their head down on the desk, largely unresponsive to the lesson or activities planned. I could choose to focus on how not great that behavior is; I put hard work into planning the session and we need to work towards their goals to build their success with their communication skills. So I could choose to energize their behavior and draw attention and focus to the fact that they are not sitting up or looking at me in the session.
What not great things could that lead to? Well, they could start to resent me for nagging at them. They could not want to come to therapy anymore. They could become argumentative or combative with their family before they ever arrive to my office because they are dreading seeing me. All of those things would be REALLY not great.
So then, how great is it that those things are NOT happening? In other words, how great is it that my only “problem” is that the child is laying their head on the desk? That is super great! The truth of the moment is, the child showed up. They are sitting, they are not running around or throwing things or hitting me, they are calm in their body. Maybe they are not looking at me, but they can still hear me and that is the greatness of listening. They might not be sitting up, but maybe they are the greatness of advocating for their needs and taking care of their body so they can participate as fully as they can in that moment.
That perspective shift and choosing to intentionally see the great things happening in front of me are core skills we learn through the NHA. As we begin to recognize the greatness happening in front of us, we can learn to comment on it and energize the successes in our kids and build a relationship from there while we nurture their hearts.
When we think about applying this approach to the beautiful rainbow of neurodivergent individuals with whom we get to interact, I find that the tenets of approach guide how I shift my perspective and my responses to what could be considered “challenging behavior” so that I can find the gifts and strengths in that behavior. Celebrating neurodiversity is truly about celebrating the great things that we all have to offer to this world. Not one of us is exactly like another. Truly, how not great would that be? So then, how great is it that we get the opportunity to lean into the celebration of the many different gifts and talents that make up our world?